If there is one thing I have learned this past month or so it’s:
It doesn’t matter what type of car you drive, how much money is in the bank, who your friends are, or what you look like physically. If you are unhappy on the INSIDE nothing on the outside is going to fill that hole. It has to come from WITHIN first.
So many people use outside forces to try and hide that empty feeling inside. Some use food, others use alcohol and partying, shopping, smoking, or serial relationships to name a few. I know this because I used to do this as well. My two favorites were shopping and food. (It’s a constant battle for me with emotional eating) You try and try to fill that hole with shallow substances that may make you feel good at first, but will ultimately fade leaving behind the pain you tried so hard to hide.
So what do you do? Go broke, get unhealthy and overweight with an addiction problem? NO! I am here to show you some tips on how you can change your life starting NOW by realizing your “GO TO’S” and how to break the cycle. Here is what I did:
1. Notice the triggers. You’re driving down the road and you see Target. Your mind immediately goes for the turning signal to enter. You don’t need anything from target, you just want to shop.
- Ask yourself WHY you feel the need to go into Target (or any favorite shopping center). What is really going on inside to make you feel the need to hide.
- This part is strange: talk to yourself. Ask yourself, “okay now, what’s going on? How do I really feel?”
- Find the deeper meaning behind the urge, acknowledge the empty feeling, and take a few deep breaths in the nose, out the mouth.
- pull out a piece of paper and write about it.
2. Take it day by day. Don’t make yourself feel like you can’t indulge all the time, just tell yourself NO once.
- By saying No to yourself once, it opens neural pathways in your brain creating new habits. You just earned yourself self discipline. This will help you in the future to say no more often and take control over your life.
3. Create more good self discipline techniques. Use other aspects of your life to help create more self discipline. Self discipline is a muscle to be exercised, just like the rest of your body.
- One way you can do this is by making your bed right when you wake up in the morning. I know this sounds strange but by stopping procrastination and just doing it, it creates more of those neural pathways.
- If you do small, self discipline tasks daily you will build up incredible strength toward those “GO TO’S” and be able to say no to them more.
4. Write out your life plan. A mentor of mine had me do this and it changed my life. This will act as your new road map to a happy life.
- Write out what you want your life to look like. Not just in business but in your relationships, financially, what car you want to drive, where you want to live, what you want your schedule to look like.
- Write down what your ideal life would be to make you happy.
- Be SPECIFIC.
5. Take small daily steps in creating that life plan in reality. Baby steps create leaps of progress.
- You have one life to live, why would you not live it the way you want?
- Next time you have an urge for one of your “GO TO’S” ask yourself if it is aligned with your life plan. If it’s not, then don’t give up what you want most for what you want right now.
- If you do not plan and direct your life, life will direct it for you and it doesn’t care what your goals and dreams are.
There are five steps to filling that hole and creating a more fulfilling life. I know you can break out of these old habits that limit you and your potential. You were born the rarest of rare on this Earth. There has never been another you on this Earth before and you will never be here again…